But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
