She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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