i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
