I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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