i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize