Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
