Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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