the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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