Can i not drive my cunt home
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize