Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
