Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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