just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
