it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
