found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
