You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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