Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
