So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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