Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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