I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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