Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
