True but thats because hes a fetus.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
