I wish I only lived at night.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
