We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
