I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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