pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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