week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
