i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
