i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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