At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
