Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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