Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
