Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
