So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
