i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
