how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
