if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
