bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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