kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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