i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
