we have pet lesbian snakes
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
