I'm sorry my penis didn't work
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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