dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i think i just lost a toe
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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