i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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