I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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