What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
