Your mouth is God's brothel.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
