THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
