And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My life is pants optional.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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