Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
