Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize