i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
3 2 1 whiskey
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
