Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
