I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
