I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
