why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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