Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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