I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
