roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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