So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
