my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You smell like stripper and shame
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
