lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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