Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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