So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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