Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize